Write Thank – You Notes

The things that are easy to do are also the things that are easy not to do. The more the pace of our lives speed up, the greater the impact the simple gestures of life will have on those most deserving of them. And near the very top of my list of simple gestures that have profound consequences is the lost art of writing thank – you notes.
Everyone loves getting mail – it’s a fact of human nature. We all have a deep – seated need to feel important. I truly love receiving letters from people who have read my books and used the lessons within them to make positive changes in their lives. Few things excite me as much as receiving a bag full of mail from men and
women who have attended one of my seminars and seen their careers take off and their personal lives improve.And knowing how much joy I feel when I receive mail from others, I try my best to respond to every letter that comes across my desk with a thank – you note of my own.
Even in the case of the people I deal with on a daily basis – executives calling to book me for a speaking engagement, people who attend my personal coaching programs, members of the media requesting an interview and businesspeople calling me with new opportunities – I try to follow up on every encounter with a sincerely written thank – you note. Sure, it takes time. Sure, there might be pressing things on my agenda. But few acts have the power to build and cement relationships like a heart – felt letter of thanks. It shows you care and that you are considerate and human. So this week, go out and buy a package of the blank thank – you cards that are now available in bulk at your local office supply warehouse and start writing. You – and all the people that you deal with – will be glad you did.

The above article has been taken from the Book “Who will Cry When You Die” by Robin Sharma.

See Your Troubles as Blessings

During the life leadership seminars I give, I often ask the participants this question: “Who would agree with me that we learn the most form our most difficult experiences?” Inevitably, nearly every hand in the room goes up. Given this, I often wonder why we, as human beings, spend so much of our lives focusing on the negative aspects of our most difficult experiences rather than seeing them for what they truly are: our greatest teachers.

You would not have the wisdom and knowledge you now possess were it not for the setbacks you have faxed, the mistakes you have made and the suffering you have endured. Once and for all, come to realize that pain is a teacher and failure is the highway to success. You cannot learn how to play the guitar without hitting a few wrong notes and you will never learn how to sail if you are not willing to tip the boat over a few times. Begin to see your troubles as blessings, resolve to transform your stumbling blocks into stepping stones and vow to turn your wounds into wisdom.

Like most people, I have encountered my own share of pain as I have advanced along the path of life. But I always try to remind myself that our character is shaped, not through life’s easiest experiences, but during life’s toughest ones. It is during life’s mot trying times that we discover who we really are and the fullness of the strength that lies within us. If you are currently experiencing challenges of your own, I respectfully offer the following words of Rainer Maria Rilke, which have helped me greatly when life throws one of its curves my way:

… have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart. Try to love the

Questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books written in a foreign language.

Do not now look for the answers. They cannot now be given to you because you could

not live them. It is a question of experiencing everything. At present, you need to live the

question. Perhaps you will gradually, without even noticing it, find yourself experiencing

the answer, some distant day.

The above article has been taken from the Book “Who will Cry When You Die” by Robin Sharma.

 

 

 

Never Judge A Book By It’s Cover!

“Beware, so long as you live, of judging men by their outward appearance “. –Jean de La Fontaine

We all go through so much throughout our lives! Not only that, we all go through so much throughout even only one day!  If we go through moments in which we are not at our best, then you can pretty much bet that everyone is on that same boat!  If you have your bad moments then you are in good company, or as I had heard it expressed at one time about a fellowship, it is just a bunch of fellows on the same ship!  We are all in a sense of like passion, and at the same time we all have similar weaknesses, we all have our moments!

This thought came to mind today as I was been observing a person for past few years, saw again last week and during this time she was always a very cheerful person. This time around, having seen her more recently it is apparent that she is going through a difficult time in her life as she simply is “not herself”.  How do I know that she is “not herself”, well it is because I have met her on different occasions. I came to know she lives alone, she is struggling with her job and her financial status might be not that good. It would be unfair, in my opinion, whether I have to form an opinion about her personality just by having met her at this time in her life.

Sad to say this is what we do over and over in our lifetime!  We meet someone and they may be going through a rough spot and are not the nicest people who have met and we will deduct that they are simply “grumpy people” when the fact of that matter is, they are only going through a temporary low.  You simply cannot judge people on a one time meeting and yet, we are being judged continually based on this one time encounter.  If only we could be more like God who judges our hearts and not by our outward appearance.

Yes it is true, first impressions are the most lasting, but we need to be careful not to get stuck on that first time encounter and give people a break.  Perhaps they need you to give them a smile, an encouragement of some sort, or compliment that could “make their day” and perhaps restore their faith in humanity!

Don’t judge a book by its cover, try reading it through a few chapters and then you can have a better idea of what it is all about!

Get Up Early

Getting up early is a gift you give to yourself. Few disciplines have the power to transform your life as does the habit of early rising. There is something very special about the first few hours in the morning. Time seems to slow down and a deep sense of peace fills the air. Joining the “Five o’ Clock Club” will allow you to start controlling your day rather than letting your day control you. Winning the “Battle of the Bed” and putting “mind over mattress” by rising early will provide you with at least one quiet hour for yourself during the most crucial part of your day: the beginning. If spent wisely, the rest of your day will unfold in a wonderful way.

In The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari, I challenged readers to “get up with the sun” and offered a number of ideas to help them cultivate this new life discipline. From the many letters, e-mails and faxes I have received from people who have improved the quality of their lives by getting up at 5 A.M., I can safely say that this is one success principle that is really worth integrating into your life. In doing so, you will join the ranks of many of the most influential people of our time ranging from Mahatma Gandhi, Thomas Edison and Nelson Mandela to Ted Turner and Mary Kay Ash.

One reader of The Monk, a marketing executive, wrote that her stress level fell so dramatically once she started rising early that her team at the office presented her with a paperweight bearing the following inscription: “To our MIP (Most Improved Player). Whatever you are doing, keep doing it. You are an inspiration to us all.” A consummate late riser, she vowed to stop sleeping in and spending her days making up for time lost while under the blanket. So while her family (and the world around her) slept, she began to get up first at 6 A.M., then at 5:30 A.M. and finally at 5 A.M. During the free time that she found she had created, she would do all the things she loved to do but had somehow never found time for. Listening carefully to classical music, writing letters, reading the classics and walking were just some of the activities that she used to rekindle her spirit and reconnect with a part of herself she thought she had lost. By getting up early, she began to care for herself again. And by doing so, she became a much better parent, spouse and professional.

To cultivate the habit of getting up earlier, the first thing to remember is that it is the quality rather than the quantity of sleep that matters most. It is better to have six hours of uninterrupted sleep than ten hours of restless, broken sleep. Here are four tips to help you sleep more deeply:

• Don’t rehearse the activities of your day while you are lying in bed trying to get to sleep.

• Don’t eat after 8 P.M. (If you have to eat something, have soup).

• Don’t watch the news before you go to sleep.

• Don’t read in bed.

Give yourself a few weeks for this new habit to take hold. Saying that you tried to get up early but gave up after seven days because it was just too hard is like saying you tried taking French lessons for a week but gave up because you could not speak the language by then. Life change takes time, effort and patience. But the results you will receive make the initial stress you experience more than worth it.

The above article has been taken from the Book “Who will Cry When You Die” by Robin Sharma.

Learn to Be Silent

 

William Wordsworth sagely observed, “When from our better selves we have too long been parted by the hurrying works, sick of its business, of its pleasures tired, how gracious, how benign is solitude.” When was the last time you made the time to be silent and still? When was the last time you carved out a chunk of time to enjoy the power of solitude to restore, refocus and revitalize your mind, body and spirit?

All of the great wisdom traditions of the world have arrived at the same conclusion: to reconnect with who you really are as a person and to come to know the glory that rests within you, you must find the time to be silent on a regular basis. Sure, you are busy. But as Thoreau said: “It is not enough to be busy, so are the ants. The question is what are you so busy about?”

The importance of silence makes me think about the story of an old lighthouse keeper. The man had only a limited amount of oil to keep his beacon lit so that passing ships could avoid the rocky shores. One night, a man who lived close by needed to borrow some of this precious commodity to light his home, so the lighthouse keeper gave him some of his own. Another night, a traveler begged for some oil to light his lamp so he could keep on travelling. The lighthouse keeper also complied with this request and gave him the amount he needed. The next night, the lighthouse keeper was awakened by a mother banging on his door. She prayed for some oil so that she could illuminate her home and feed her family. Again he agreed. Soon all his oil was gone and his beacon went out. Many ships ran aground and many lives were lost because the lighthouse keeper forgot to focus on his priority. He neglected his primary duty and paid a high price. Experiencing solitude, for even a few minutes a day, will keep you centered on your highest life priorities and help you avoid the neglect that pervades the lives of so many of us.

And saying that you don’t have enough time to be silent on a regular basis is a lot like saying you are too busy driving to stop for gas – eventually it will catch up with you.

The above article has been taken from the Book “Who will Cry When You Die” by Robin Sharma.

Talk to Yourself

Years ago, when I was a litigation lawyer who had many of the material trappings of success yet little in the way of inner peace, I read a book called As a Man Thinketh by James Allen. Te book discussed the enormous power of the human mind to shape our reality and attract great happiness and prosperity into our lives. The work also mentioned the profound influence of the words and language we use on a daily basis to create a more enlightened pathway of thought.

Fascinated, I began to read more and more wisdom and self – help literature. And as I did, I discovered the profound impact and importance of the words we use in our daily communications (both with others and with ourselves) on the quality of our lives. This knowledge also caused me to become aware of the personal dialogue that each of us has going on within us every minute of every hour of every day and to vow to improve the content of what I was saying to myself. To achieve this, I began to apply a strategy developed by the ancient sages over five thousand years ago. And, in many ways, it changed my life.

The technique is a simple one and involves nothing more than selecting a phrase that you will train your mind to focus on at different times throughout the day until it begins to dominate your awareness and reshape the person you are. If it is inner peace and calm you seek, the phrase, known as a mantra, might be, “I am so grateful that I am a serene and tranquil person.” If it is more confidence that you want, your mantra could be, “I am delighted that I am full of confidence and boundless courage.” It if is material prosperity you are after, your saying might be, “I am so grateful that money and opportunity is flowing into my life.”

Repeat your mantras softly under your breath as you walk to work, as you wait in line or as you wash the dishes to fill otherwise unproductive times of your day with a powerful life improvement force. Try to say your personal phrase at least two hundred times a day for at least four weeks. The results will be profound as you take one giant step to finding the peace, prosperity and purpose your life requires. As Hazrat Inayat Khan said, “The words that enlighten the soul are more precious than jewels.”

The above article has been taken from the Book “Who will Cry When You Die” by Robin Sharma.

 

Learn to Say No Gracefully

“You have to decide what your highest prioritites are and have the courage – pleasantly , smilingly, nonapologetically –  to say ‘no’ to other things. And the way to do that is by having a bigger ‘yes’ burning inside”.    –  Stephen Covey

 

It is easy to say yes to every request on your time when the priorities of your life are unclear. When your days are not guided by a rich and inspiring vision for your future, a clear image of an end result that will help you act more intentionally, it is not hard for the agendas of those around you to dictate your actions. As I wrote in

Leadership Wisdom from The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari, “if your priorities don’t get scheduled into your planner, other people’s priorities will get put into your planner.” The solution is to be clear about your life’s highest objectives and then to learn to say no with grace.

The Chinese sage Chuang – tzu told the story of a man who forged swords for a maharaja. Even at the age of ninety, his work was carried out with exceptional precision and ability. No matter how rushed he was, he never made even the slightest slip. One day, the maharaja asked the old man, “Is this a natural talent or is there some special technique that you use to create your remarkable results?” “It is concentration on the essentials,” replied the sword – crafter. “I took to forging swords when I was twenty – one years old. I did not care about anything else. If it was not a sword, I did not look at it or pay any attention to it. Forging swords became my passion and my purpose. I took all the energy that I did not give in other directions and put it in the direction of my art. This is the secret to my mastery.”

The most effective people concentrate on their “areas of excellence,” that is, on the thing they do best and on those high – impact activities that will advance their life – work. In being so consumed by the important things, they find it easy to say no to their less – than – worthy distractions that clamor for their attention. Michael Jordan, the best basketball player in the game’s history, did not negotiate his contracts, design his uniforms and prepare his travel schedules. He focused his time and energies on what he did best: playing basketball, and delegated everything else to his handlers. Jazz great Louis Armstrong did not spend his time selling tickets to his shows and setting up chairs for the audience. He concentrated on his point of brilliance: playing the trumpet. Learning to say no to the non – essentials will give you more time to devote to the things that have the power to truly improve the way you live and help you leave the legacy you know in your heart you are destined to leave.

 

The above article has been taken from the Book “Who will Cry When You Die” by Robin Sharma.

 

The Compliment of Criticism

“Criticism is something we can avoid easily by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing” –Aristotle

Criticism is truly hard to take no matter how it is given.  There are however different types of criticism, constructive criticism that is meant to help you do your job better, usually administered by someone who would like to see you succeed in your work, and criticism given by a born critic.  Some people are plagued with a negative mindset and pretty much anything and everything will fail on the scale of their opinion.  They tend to thrive on negative thoughts, and if there is nothing bad going on, they are sure to invent it!

It is easy to grow defensive of our own work, after all you have spent a good amount of your personal blood, sweat and tears laboring away to accomplish something and then someone comes along and tears it all down with a comment.  The fact of the matter is, there is no way on earth you will ever be able to satisfy everyone, you can try hard at it, but if that is what you are attempting to do, prepare for great disappointment!  The best attitude to have when working on anything is to be ready and accept the fact from the beginning that you will be met with criticism.

The good news is, being criticized means that you are doing something!  Only those who do not do anything, never try anything, are too afraid to make any move are the only ones that never receive any criticism! So if you are being criticized, this could be a wonderful compliment, it means that you are going somewhere.  Criticizing can be due to many things, perhaps others are jealous of you and what you are able to accomplish, so in order to elevate themselves they will attempt to put you down.  They might just be chronic criticizers who have little or nothing else to do and therefore they have taken on this activity as their “profession”.  And yes there is the true friend who really would like to see you succeed and so he offers you a sincere criticism in order to help you to perfect what you are doing.

Leaders are usually subjected to a lot of criticism.  They are often in their position because of the fact that they are good leaders, but good or bad as they may be, because they are going places and doing things, they are the target of a lot of criticism!  You cannot desire leadership if you are afraid of being criticized, spoken bad about or eventually even hated by others.  This unfortunately comes with the job of a leader.  But a good leader will be open to this fact, be able to wade through the criticism, pick out what might be relevant and learn from it without being offended. If you are affected by criticism, do not seek out a leadership position!

In this Election time, as despite the fact that debate is necessary in order to arrive to the solution in any matter, during the campaign stage there is so much senseless mudslinging  on both sides, what those who tend to do this thing don’t take into consideration that “he who throws dirt loses ground!” Most of the criticism are not constructive, instead it is more of a gutter game that is happening around, Politicians and Leaders are bound to bring solutions but on the other hand we are interested in creating more problems.

So if you are a victim of criticism, cheer up, you may be doing something.  Just don’t let it get you down and to stop moving at all! Look at the criticism and try to evaluate whether it holds any possible point in truth and make any modifications that you deem necessary. We are all subject to the gossip of others, unfortunately that comes with life, just don’t let it be what influences your every decision!

How do you take criticism? Do you use it to make you better or allow it to  weaken you through feelings of failure?

Mr. Nice Guy

“We’re living proof that nice guys always finish last.” –Matthew Cooper

Who doesn’t like to be liked?  Life seems to be a lot better when you believe that everyone really likes you and you are seen as to be a very nice person!  It is important to be nice, but there are moments in which you have to get it in your head that being nice will get you absolutely nowhere!

After starting out a lot of things I finally got into a media company and was determined with my new venture,thought to be nice to everyone making the work environment a positive place to be and to instill in everyone the vision of maintaining a good standard of cleanliness and organization.  This is all a wonderful plan, only one little problem, not everyone has the company at heart, many are just present in body from the time they clock in until they clock out, and the only real interest they have is to fulfill the bare minimum in order to get their pay check at the end of the month.

Wishing to make it clear what standard was expected I would make sure that everything was done to perfection and so I would spend time to leave a good example to the next shift of employees so that they could witness, through my example, what should be expected of them once they took on their slot.  Well I soon found out that people will be people and most of them truly do love work… they would watch it all day long!  The message that I was hoping to portray was strangely misread, the others were happy that I was willing to go the extra mile so that they could take it a bit easier!  I was simply trying to lead by example and be a nice guy to show my willingness to do the work that they too were expected to do.

I am not saying that you need to be mean in order to be a good employee and that being nice is not something to be as a person, but there are moments and positions and places where you have to not have the illusion that others will appreciate your kind acts.  The fact of the matter is, at your work place, you will be talked about in a negative way regardless of how nice you are.  If you want to get things accomplished you need to be pleasantly firm otherwise you will find that the roles will be inadvertently reversed, you will be dancing to the tune of your co-workers.

By being too easy-going you will be doing no one a favor, not yourself nor those you need to oversee.  They will never grow into more responsible individuals and you will never be a good employee or an entrepreneur by trying to be “Mr. Nice Guy”.  Be nice, yes, but don’t forget the reason you were hired or why you are in the position that you are in!  The boss will always look you through crossed eyes no matter how “nice” you might be, unless you happen to have some amazingly mature people who have their work truly at heart.

Have you ever tried to be nice and ended up confused why it didn’t quite work out?

Shades of Grey

Black and white are truly decisive colors that can be interesting at times, and even at other times necessary.  But there is nothing that truly brings out the beauty and truth in life than the many shades of grey.  There are things that are definitely black or white, but if you were to paint everything over with just black or white, you would lose so many beautiful and amazing details that you could otherwise notice and that might help you to have a better perspective should you add a bit of grey!

Too many of us tend to make that very mistake when judging a situation, or when arriving to a decision.  We apply the black or white rule and leave out the various shades of grey.  If you go into any situation with a bucket of just black or white you risk missing out on a lot of beautiful details that could make the overall picture be so much more clear and relatable.

Take politics for example.  There are too many people who are stuck on either Saffron or Green when making a choice or decision.  The white in the Country often gets forgotten or ignored and therefore those who are so busy throwing their buckets  of either Saffron or Green on everything can totally miss the whole point of what building a true democracy is really like, they are too busy trying to tear down or paint over the other color.

Life, love, relationships, politics, business, religion, and in fact everything has many different shades of grey.  If you want to make it in any one thing, take your nose out of your paint bucket, then take a few steps back and the look at the canvas.  As you focus on things with your  new perspective, you might find that adding those shades of grey will complete your masterpiece, better your life and help you grow close the world around you!

Do you add shades of grey to your pictures? Or are you stuck with trying paint them all over with black or white?