Posted in Life Experiences

The Compliment of Criticism

“Criticism is something we can avoid easily by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing” –Aristotle

Criticism is truly hard to take no matter how it is given.  There are however different types of criticism, constructive criticism that is meant to help you do your job better, usually administered by someone who would like to see you succeed in your work, and criticism given by a born critic.  Some people are plagued with a negative mindset and pretty much anything and everything will fail on the scale of their opinion.  They tend to thrive on negative thoughts, and if there is nothing bad going on, they are sure to invent it!

It is easy to grow defensive of our own work, after all you have spent a good amount of your personal blood, sweat and tears laboring away to accomplish something and then someone comes along and tears it all down with a comment.  The fact of the matter is, there is no way on earth you will ever be able to satisfy everyone, you can try hard at it, but if that is what you are attempting to do, prepare for great disappointment!  The best attitude to have when working on anything is to be ready and accept the fact from the beginning that you will be met with criticism.

The good news is, being criticized means that you are doing something!  Only those who do not do anything, never try anything, are too afraid to make any move are the only ones that never receive any criticism! So if you are being criticized, this could be a wonderful compliment, it means that you are going somewhere.  Criticizing can be due to many things, perhaps others are jealous of you and what you are able to accomplish, so in order to elevate themselves they will attempt to put you down.  They might just be chronic criticizers who have little or nothing else to do and therefore they have taken on this activity as their “profession”.  And yes there is the true friend who really would like to see you succeed and so he offers you a sincere criticism in order to help you to perfect what you are doing.

Leaders are usually subjected to a lot of criticism.  They are often in their position because of the fact that they are good leaders, but good or bad as they may be, because they are going places and doing things, they are the target of a lot of criticism!  You cannot desire leadership if you are afraid of being criticized, spoken bad about or eventually even hated by others.  This unfortunately comes with the job of a leader.  But a good leader will be open to this fact, be able to wade through the criticism, pick out what might be relevant and learn from it without being offended. If you are affected by criticism, do not seek out a leadership position!

In this Election time, as despite the fact that debate is necessary in order to arrive to the solution in any matter, during the campaign stage there is so much senseless mudslinging  on both sides, what those who tend to do this thing don’t take into consideration that “he who throws dirt loses ground!” Most of the criticism are not constructive, instead it is more of a gutter game that is happening around, Politicians and Leaders are bound to bring solutions but on the other hand we are interested in creating more problems.

So if you are a victim of criticism, cheer up, you may be doing something.  Just don’t let it get you down and to stop moving at all! Look at the criticism and try to evaluate whether it holds any possible point in truth and make any modifications that you deem necessary. We are all subject to the gossip of others, unfortunately that comes with life, just don’t let it be what influences your every decision!

How do you take criticism? Do you use it to make you better or allow it to  weaken you through feelings of failure?

Posted in The Work Place

Mr. Nice Guy

“We’re living proof that nice guys always finish last.” –Matthew Cooper

Who doesn’t like to be liked?  Life seems to be a lot better when you believe that everyone really likes you and you are seen as to be a very nice person!  It is important to be nice, but there are moments in which you have to get it in your head that being nice will get you absolutely nowhere!

After starting out a lot of things I finally got into a media company and was determined with my new venture,thought to be nice to everyone making the work environment a positive place to be and to instill in everyone the vision of maintaining a good standard of cleanliness and organization.  This is all a wonderful plan, only one little problem, not everyone has the company at heart, many are just present in body from the time they clock in until they clock out, and the only real interest they have is to fulfill the bare minimum in order to get their pay check at the end of the month.

Wishing to make it clear what standard was expected I would make sure that everything was done to perfection and so I would spend time to leave a good example to the next shift of employees so that they could witness, through my example, what should be expected of them once they took on their slot.  Well I soon found out that people will be people and most of them truly do love work… they would watch it all day long!  The message that I was hoping to portray was strangely misread, the others were happy that I was willing to go the extra mile so that they could take it a bit easier!  I was simply trying to lead by example and be a nice guy to show my willingness to do the work that they too were expected to do.

I am not saying that you need to be mean in order to be a good employee and that being nice is not something to be as a person, but there are moments and positions and places where you have to not have the illusion that others will appreciate your kind acts.  The fact of the matter is, at your work place, you will be talked about in a negative way regardless of how nice you are.  If you want to get things accomplished you need to be pleasantly firm otherwise you will find that the roles will be inadvertently reversed, you will be dancing to the tune of your co-workers.

By being too easy-going you will be doing no one a favor, not yourself nor those you need to oversee.  They will never grow into more responsible individuals and you will never be a good employee or an entrepreneur by trying to be “Mr. Nice Guy”.  Be nice, yes, but don’t forget the reason you were hired or why you are in the position that you are in!  The boss will always look you through crossed eyes no matter how “nice” you might be, unless you happen to have some amazingly mature people who have their work truly at heart.

Have you ever tried to be nice and ended up confused why it didn’t quite work out?

Posted in relationship

Shades of Grey

Black and white are truly decisive colors that can be interesting at times, and even at other times necessary.  But there is nothing that truly brings out the beauty and truth in life than the many shades of grey.  There are things that are definitely black or white, but if you were to paint everything over with just black or white, you would lose so many beautiful and amazing details that you could otherwise notice and that might help you to have a better perspective should you add a bit of grey!

images-1Too many of us tend to make that very mistake when judging a situation, or when arriving to a decision.  We apply the black or white rule and leave out the various shades of grey.  If you go into any situation with a bucket of just black or white you risk missing out on a lot of beautiful details that could make the overall picture be so much more clear and relatable.

Take politics for example.  There are too many people who are stuck on either Saffron or Green when making a choice or decision.  The white in the Country often gets forgotten or ignored and therefore those who are so busy throwing their buckets  of either Saffron or Green on everything can totally miss the whole point of what building a true democracy is really like, they are too busy trying to tear down or paint over the other color.

Life, love, relationships, politics, business, religion, and in fact everything has many different shades of grey.  If you want to make it in any one thing, take your nose out of your paint bucket, then take a few steps back and the look at the canvas.  As you focus on things with your  new perspective, you might find that adding those shades of grey will complete your masterpiece, better your life and help you grow close the world around you!

Do you add shades of grey to your pictures? Or are you stuck with trying paint them all over with black or white?

Posted in Wisdom

Honor Your Past

07_kreatiff_ziza_235504_thumb[1].jpgEvery second you dwell on the past you steal from your future. Every minute you spend focusing on your problems you take away from finding your solutions. And thinking about all those things that you wish never happened to you is actually blocking all the things you want to happen from entering into your life. Given the timeless truth that hold that you become what you think about all day long, it makes no sense to worry about past events or mistakes unless you want to experience them for a second time. Instead, use the lessons you have learned from your past to rise to a whole new level of awareness and enlightenment.

Life’s greatest setbacks reveal life’s biggest opportunities. As the ancient thinker Euripides noted, “There is in the worst of fortune the best chances for a happy change.” If you have suffered more than your fair share of difficulties in life, perhaps you are being prepared to serve some greater purpose that will require you to be equipped with the wisdom you have acquired through your trials. Use these life lessons to fuel your future growth. Remember, happy people have often experienced as much adversity as those who are unhappy. What sets them apart is that they have the good sense to manage their memories in a way that enriches their lives.

And understand that if you have failed more than others, there is a very good chance you are living more completely than others. Those who take more chances and dare to be more and do more than others will naturally experience more failures. But personally, I would rather have the bravery to try something and then fail than never to have tried it at all. I would much prefer spending the rest of my days expanding my human frontiers and trying to make the seemingly impossible probable than live a life of comfort, security and mediocrity. That’s the essence of true life success. As Herodotus noted so sagely, “It is better by noble boldness to run the risk of being subject to half of the evils we anticipate than to remain in cowardly listlessness for fear of what may happen.” Or as Booker T. Washington said, “I have learned that success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles he has overcome while trying to succeed.”

 

Posted in The Work Place

Are You A Funnel Or A Cork?

“A leader’s role is to raise people’s aspirations for what they can become and to release their energies so they will try to get there.” David R. Gergen

Many people have the misconception that a leader is a person that knows everything, tells everything, and is someone who is always at minimum tens steps ahead of everyone else, funnel-corkand for this reason they are the leader!  But leaders are those who first of all are capable (and smart enough) to assemble a winning combination of people who are suited for the job and can teach them the joys of teamwork.

Anyone can run around and boss everyone around and tell others what to do, but who wants to do that when if you could develop the inner talent of those you work with and inspire in them to reach decisions within their realm of expertise!  If you want to always “call the shots” and be the “big cheese” and make sure everyone knows who the boss is, what you will eventually realize, if not sooner, then later is that you are becoming a cork and the bottleneck to progress!

In every business, be it large or small, there are so many things that need to be taken care of.  Surely at the beginning stages as you are forming a team, you will need to get more involved, but if you do not begin early on to use the art of delegation and teaching others to make those petty decisions, you will find yourself with a big problem.  Everything is waiting on you, and nothing is getting done because you have not taken the time to inspire in others how to make wise decisions.

If you have carefully selected your team members and are happy with who you have chosen, then it is time to become a funnel.  What is a funnel?  Someone who can take in a large amount of ideas and suggestions and begin the process to bring it down to a workable solution. It is important to be open to others observations and ideas and to encourage them to think things out and make the right questions in order to arrive to the proper solutions! You are simply there to give the thumbs up when they have reached the right decision.

You don’t have to have all of the answers, you just need to know where the ship is heading, work together with your team to find the best way to guide the ship in the right direction.  That to me is sign of real leadership!

Are you a funnel or a cork?

Posted in Monday Motivation

Monday Motivation: Get Organized

It’s that time of year, you are setting goals and of course, the infamous New Year’s Resolutions. I don’t know about you, but I have had serious issues in the past with these resolutions rarely getting accomplished, I do however believe that as far as the blog and business are concerned, I did pretty well last year, and I expect this year to be so much better.

Why?

  • I have changed the way that I approach my goal setting and my mentality has shifted, I embrace hard work and understand that faith without works means nothing.
  • You can believe in yourself all you want, but if you are unwilling to actually do the work, you are wasting your energy!
  • Hard work is actually great.

 

  • You will have ups and downs, the downs will suck, but who really gives a damn? You can either be the loser who complains or the winner who pushes past the crap and claims their win.

 

This Year, I encourage you to claim a new mentality as you approach your goals. One that embraces hard work, because the reality is that the reason that you do not accomplish the goals that you want to accomplish is because you are not working hard enough.

Excuses aside, you are the only person in charge of your destiny!

God has given you the intelligence, strength, and ability to get up and  take advantage of it and as we focus on transformation through hard work.

 

Posted in Life Experiences

People are Interesting–they can never be pleased!–all the time.

I have a favorite little fable that has spoken to me a lot.  I guess that it is only human nature that we would like to please everybody and be everyone’s friend.  But in the end, you really can’t!  Thank the good Lord we are all different, otherwise it would be a pretty boring world!  The diversity that exists on earth in the human race keeps things interesting!  Imagine a world where everyone was exactly the same! Oh my! How boring it would be!  But if we can just allow ourselves to be fine with not pleasing everyone, and at the same time accepting those who may have a skewed view of us, then life may be a lot more bearable.  I want to share one of my favorite fable with you that proves that you simply cannot please everyone.  Someone once said: “You can please most people some of the time, and some people most of the time,  but you can never please everyone all of the time

The Man The Boy and The Donkey–Aesop’s Fable

A MAN and his son were once going with their Donkey to market. As they were walking along by its side a countryman passed them and said: “You fools, what is a Donkey for but to ride upon?”

So the Man put the Boy on the Donkey and they went on their way. But soon they passed a group of men, one of whom said: “See that lazy youngster, he lets his father walk while he rides.”

So the Man ordered his Boy to get off, and got on himself. But they hadn’t gone far when they passed two women, one of whom said to the other: “Shame on that lazy lout to let his poor little son trudge along.”

Well, the Man didn’t know what to do, but at last he took his Boy up before him on the Donkey. By this time they had come to the town, and the passers-by began to jeer and point at them. The Man stopped and asked what they were scoffing at. The men said: “Aren’t you ashamed of yourself for overloading that poor Donkey of yours—you and your hulking son?”

The Man and Boy got off and tried to think what to do. They thought and they thought, till at last they cut down a pole, tied the Donkey’s feet to it, and raised the pole and the Donkey to their shoulders. They went along amid the laughter of all who met them till they came to Market Bridge, when the Donkey, getting one of his feet loose, kicked out and caused the Boy to drop his end of the pole. In the struggle the Donkey fell over the bridge, and his fore-feet being tied together he was drowned.

Moral of the story:  You can never please everyone!  Relax and stop trying so hard and start living your life and do what you can to live at peace with your neighbor!